Rat Award Goes To....

LEYTON! What a rat! I am seriously scared to answer our door because of my fear that CPS will be standing there ready to arrest me. Why, you ask? The first reason is because we have had to call Poison Control 3 times! You are probably thinking that I am a negligent parent, right? Well, I really think the reason is because our two year old is a spider monkey. He has always been a climber. He crawls on the kitchen counters, the bathroom counters, in and out of Harrison's highchair...I have even witnessed this kid climb a wall. I am serious. Babyproofing does not work for this boy either. He has taken off all of the corner protectors, he takes the outlet covers out (and sometimes even plugs various appliances into the socket), he can push the drawer latches down to get in the knife drawer, he climbs over baby gates---and he has always been this way. SO...the most recent event that caused us to call Poison Control was last night---homeboy got into Russell's briefcase, got out the bottle of Excedrin Migraine, twisted off the child proof lid...and ate a pill. He comes over to me shaking the bottle to proudly show me the new "vitamins" he found. He had white chalk all over his mouth and a disgusted look on his little, mischievous face. I put my finger in his mouth, scraped his tooth, and tasted it---yep, he ate one. I asked him how many he ate and he told me just one. I still wasn't convinced. I continued to ask and he assured me it was just one. Thank goodness they taste bad! SO...I stuffed the kid with bread, fries, fritos, and water---per Poison Control's advice. (his previous incidents include baby oil and toothpaste) The second reason I believe the CPS is after me is the fact that he has, yet again, another HUGE goose egg on his forehead. This one is a result of him putting his 2 hands on the coffee table and his 2 feet on the couch---while sticking his rump in the air, of course. BAM! Another goose egg. The kid is covered in bruises. (probably partly because he has some seriously WHITE skin) The other reason is stated above---you know, the part about him being a spider monkey.